3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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