you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
