i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
