Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
