I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
