I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
