just survived the first fart of the relationship.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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