just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
