Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
