I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
