Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize