And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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