Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
