Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
