I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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