Quick, to the slutcave!
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
