Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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