Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
