Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
