Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
