wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
and you fell through a lawn chair
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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