I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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