How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I should be sponsored by Trojan
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I intend to get homeless drunk
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
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