you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
The chlamydia really affected his face.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
