So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
