...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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