you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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