she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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