ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
