Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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