How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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