OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
