Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
