found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
