Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
