I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize