Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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