You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
