i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
