New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
