you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
