Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Randomize
