I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
