u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
