Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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