...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
