I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
