I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
