I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
