I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
