Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
