Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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