The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I can't put those talents on a resume
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
