I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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