oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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