I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
