I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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