Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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