Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
