You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
