I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
