Your tits are I can't wait for
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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