Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
