The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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