Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
