Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(815): View more from Illinois

I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo

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(732): View more from New Jersey

They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.

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(210): View more from Texas

Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.

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(980): View more from North Carolina

Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"

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(775): View more from Nevada

The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"

(1-775): View more from Nevada

At least you got your shooes

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(503): View more from Oregon

The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.

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(509): View more from Washington

And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!

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