Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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