I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Couch. On fire.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
