ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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